Reaching your Goals – Part 2

Without a plan or a direction I would feel lost in life. In my line of work, I need to plan at different levels and follow up and adjust and align as I proceed. A good land use plan needs a comprehensive vision of where we wish to see the community 20 or 30 or 50 or more years from now. Stephen Covey calls the habit of creating a vision ‘Begin with the End in Mind’. If I am planning a trip I first need to know what is my final destination knowing that, in order to reach it, I will have to take a direction and do a few things on the way, like filling gas occasionally or take a stretch stop once in a while. However, before we even think of an end in mind we need to realize that we are in charge. Dr. Covey describes the first habit of a highly effective individual as ‘Being Proactive’. Let’s see what he has to say about this.

“Think of the different situations you find yourself in daily as you strive to achieve your goals. Do you act reactively or proactively? Proactive basically means that you have the power of choice. You can take initiative. You literally can set and achieve a goal. You are not a product of your past, or of your past habits, or of your genetic makeup, or of the social agenda that is pressing upon you. You are not a product of those things. See most people think they are, literally they do. They think, “But what can I do? They make me do this.” Or, “I have to do this”, or “I’ve always done this”, or “this is the way it’s been done.” This is the language they use, this is reactive language, it isn’t proactive language. Proactive language is “I choose a goal.” I am proactively making a choice to go for a new goal, to make a change in my life that I think is important and will impact the totality of my life. Because the private victory basically says that your security comes from within, not from without. It doesn’t come other people’s opinions. That’s where most people tend to get their security, what other people think of them. Consequently they grow up with a comparison-based identity. They don’t know who they are, they know how they are seen. But they are seen differently by different people.

Have you ever been in a crazy room mirror, and looked at the weird caricature images that come back to you from all of the different mirrors? That’s what it’s like for many, many people. Literally. They are literally torn apart and seen in different ways by different people and they don’t know themselves and the only person they know is the person they’re supposed to be to this person or to this person. So they end up playing roles and pretending, and then they often times get very jealous when they see someone succeeding better than they. Because what? Their security comes from without. From people’s opinions. And they don’t stack up as well with other people as they otherwise might, as they want to. Same thing with school. School does it to us because of the distribution curve. Athletics does it to us. Friends. The whole economic world is often based on status and position. All of these forces combine together to give you an image of yourself, who you are. So this is highly connected to the whole concept of your spirit and your mind. And your peace of mind, and even greater than that, peace of conscience, meaning your integrity. Meaning living true to your value system, to those things that you know are right.”

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Reaching your Goals – Part 1

I know many are familiar with Stephen Covey. I find him very inspiring and I love his down to earth attitude. The whole philosophy around his approach deals with how to achieve meaningful goals in order to reach what he calls the private victory and in order to leave a legacy. Dr. Covey has an on-line community and he uses this community to teach, for free, how to set up goals and reach them. In doing do, he also teaches important life lessons and in my next few blogs, I wish to share with you some of his wisdom. Today, I will begin with what he calls the ‘Areas of Life’: our body, mind, heart and spirit.

While you read  think of the goals you have set. Are you thinking in a balanced way? Are you setting goals that benefit all four areas of your life?

This is what he says:

“Now think about your life for a moment. You have a body. You have a mind. You have a heart. And you have a spirit. Those are the four dimensions of life. Body. Mind. Heart. Spirit. The interesting thing is that they are all connected, which teaches you – right now – the idea, that you need to think in a connected way, because they are connected. One of the reasons most people don’t accomplish their goal is that they do not do it in a balanced way. They are not connected. They may accomplish a little goal for a short period of time. Soon, it won’t be the case. People that want to loose weight, for instance, might get on a crash diet. But that will affect their mind. They will often become irritable and upset. People don’t want to be around them necessarily. But they might loose that weight. You watch them. A
few months later, they’ll be back. In most cases they are back. Unless they are connected. Just like the body, mind, heart and spirit are connected. That’s why you must think in terms of a balance, an integration of your whole nature. Body, mind, heart and spirit. Now you can start, let’s say, with the body, and say, loose some weight. But then you start
thinking, what about my mind, and my heart, and my spirit. What is your heart? Your relationships. How important are those to you? Think of your loved ones. Think of your friends. Think of your business associates. Your fellow students. Are those also important to you? See, that is connected. The mind that you develop from physical well-being and health will be powerfully impacted. So will your heart. So will your spirit. Everything is connected to everything else. Medicine teaches this. It’s called psychosomatic medicine. The close relationship between body and mind. But we’re dealing with the heart, feelings and emotions. We’re dealing with the spirit. So, you want to think in terms of the four dimensions of life, if you want to really accomplish goals that will be sustainable. That means that you can achieve and achieve even more later and even more later. And that it impacts the totality of your life. It impacts your ability to think. It impacts your ability to give and receive love. It impacts your sense of your own worth, of your own value as a human being. So, all of this is very, very connected.

This is one of the most important things to realize before you really decide what your goals are. In fact, if you were asking me, I would say, “I would have a goal in each of these four areas”. I’d have a goal to get healthy, through proper exercise and diet and so forth. I’d have a goal to be a constant learner. I’d have a goal to constantly nurture your relationships with the key people in your life. And I’d have a goal to serve and to contribute – to make a difference. And to live with integrity. Do you know what integrity means? Look at the word. Integrity. Inte-grated. Connected. So, you’re all connected. Body, mind, heart and spirit. You may want to start with a very simple goal. Maybe just with the body. Or, let’s say a goal to read a book – to learn. Or a goal to be a better friend to someone. Or to build a better
relationship with your parents, or with one of your brothers or sisters. The relationship has been strained. You want to improve it. But I tell you what, you won’t be able to achieve that goal in a sustainable way, that means in a way that you can keep it that way over time, unless you work on the totality of your nature. You have to provide, in a sense, those processes that enable you to achieve a private victory. Private victory:  personal leadership. You know what will happen? You’ll start to realize you’re the creative force of your own life. And I’m telling you, once you experience that – it will change your whole life. You’ll start to realize, “What I could undertake if I wanted to. What I could do. What I could accomplish.” When you’re the creative force of your own life. When you’re not a product of your past.”

Pretty powerful, don’t you think?

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Walking with Sorrrow

This week I wish to share with you a different thought as a 15-year old girl lost her life in a bizarre accident on January 13th in Winfield.

I have been thinking about the loss of a young life and the stress the community and staff at the District of Lake Country are all feeling from this tragic event. I put myself in the girl’s parents shoes and feel the agony they must be experiencing right now. Parents, many say, are not meant to outlive their children. There is a different kind of grief when that happens. Blame and anger become stronger and a terrible sense of void takes over our lives.

Whether or not we believe in a life after death or a God or a spiritual existence (in whatever form we believe it may manifest itself) the reality is: such a tragedy hurts and it will for the rest of our lives.

I don’t know how to sooth a soul in pain, but we all have a responsibility to comfort and help and move on for the benefit of those who are still with us. Words will not give life back to those who lost it, and death is no respecter of age or gender or social circumstances. But we still need to be there for those who remain.

I find a bit of comfort in the following poem by Robert Browning Hamilton:

“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me.”

I hope you find comfort in those words too.

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Peaks and Valleys

I am finally back and I hope you missed me. Today the topic is ‘peaks and valleys’, which, incidentally, is a the title of Spencer Johnson’s latest book. Spencer Johnson, who is a medical doctor, is also one of the world’s most respected thinkers and beloved authors. You may know him for his best-selling book “Who Moved My Cheese?” and “The One Minute Manager” which he coauthored with Ken Blanchard.

Peaks and Valleys is the story of a young man who lives unhappily in a valley until he meets an old man who lives on a peak. This will change his life forever. Initially, the young man does not realize he is talking with one of the most peaceful and successful people in the world. However, through a series of conversations and experiences that occur up on peaks and down in valleys, the young man comes to make some startling discoveries. Eventually, he comes to understand how he can use the old man’s remarkable principles and practical tools in good and bad times and becomes more calm and successful himself.

Peaks and valleys are not just the good and bad times that happen to us. They are also how we feel inside and respond to outside events.

I agree with Dr. Johnson when he states that “whether we are temporarily up on a peak or down in a valley, we should ask ourselves: what is the truth of the situation? If we make our decisions based on the truth, we are going to come out in very good shape.”

We need to uncover the good that is hidden in a bad time, and use it to our advantage. What if we went back to the basics? What if we spent more time together with our families and with ourselves? We would probably feel more calm and peaceful if we went back to the basics. We also need to be humble and grateful. We need to do more of what got us there, keep making things better, do more for others. We also need to save resources for our upcoming valleys. Spencer Johnson also added that “If you are humble enough to remember that you’re only part of the peak and you’re only part of the valley, then you start getting a more realistic perspective.”

If we imagine ourselves enjoying a better future in such specific, believable detail, we soon enjoy doing what takes us there.

Have you ever felt that way?

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Un Messaggio al Generale Garcia (Italian)

Tradurre tutto il testo del messaggio che ho scritto in inglese sarebbe troppo oneroso. Ma volevo condividere alcuni punti salienti. Ho letto un editoriale molto interessante, pubblicato verso la fine del XIX Secolo e desidero farne un sommario per coloro che sono interessati.

L’editoriale fu scritto nel 1899 dopo una discussione avuta dall’autore, Elbert Hubbard, sulla guerra Ispano-Americana. Un alleato critico per la vittoria degli americani era stato il Generale Calixto Garcia, che guidava i ribelli cubani contro l’oppressione spagnola. Il figlio di Hubbard, durante la discussione, aveva sottolineato che il vero eroe della guerra era stato il Sottotenente Rowan, dell’esercito americano. Rowan era stato incaricato di portare un messaggio al Generale Garcia, da parte del Presidente americano McKinley. Il sottotenente, senza alcuna esitazione, aveva portato a termine la sua missione e aveva aperto le possibilita’ alla esecuzione di strategie che avrebbero poi assistito nella vittoria finale.

Il sommario del pensiero di Hubbard su l’impresa di Rowan e’ il seguente.

“Non ha tanta importanza come il sottotenente Rowan esegui’ e porto’ a termine la sua missione (basti dire che ci vollero 4 giorni di navigazione e tre settimane per attraversare una giungla ostile a piedi e portare la lettera a Garcia). Piuttosto il fatto che Rowan non chiese domande, ma parti’ e fece quello che gli era stato chiesto perche’ gli era stato chiesto e senti’ il dovere di farlo. Bisognerebbe fare un statua a Rowan per la sua dedizione e il suo senso del dovere.

Garcia e’ morto, ma ci sono tanti altri Garcia nella nostra vita. Il punto e’ che nessuno che abbia iniziato un’impresa, un business o qualsiasi altro lavoro in cui vi sia necessita’ di un’azione da parte di altri, abbia incontrato l’esatto contrario di Rowan, o, in generale la mancanza di abilita’, di desiderio e/o di concentrarsi su una cosa e farla. Fate questo esperimento sul vostro posto di lavoro. Chiedete a un impiegato  “per favore guardi nell’enciclopedia e mi scriva un breve memoria sulla vita di Correggio. Secondo voi l’impiegato dira’ va bene e comincera’ il suo lavoro? Scommetterei tutto quello che ho che, nella maggior parte dei casi, l’impiegato vi guarderebbe in faccia con occhi da pesce bollito e vi chiederebbe una o piu’ delle seguenti domande:Chi e’ questo Correggio? Quale enciclopedia devo usare? Sono stato assunto per questo? Vuol dire una ricerca su Bismarck? Perche’ le devo fare io e non la signorina Rossi? Questo Correggio e’ morto? E’ una cosa urgente? Vuole che le porto il libro cosi’ se lo cerca direttamente lei? Perche’ lo vuole sapere?

E scommetto ancora di piu’ che dopo aver risposto a tuttte le domande, spiegato come trovare l’informazione, e perche’ la volete. l’impiegato chiedera’ ad un altro impiegato di aiutare nella ricerca, per poi tornare e dirvi che non esiste questo Correggio. Naturalmente potrei perdere la scommessa, ma penso di no.

Questa incapacita’ di indipendenza di azione, questa stupidita’ morale, questa infermita’ della volonta’, questa ristrettezza mentale di non collaborare causano una domanda: se gli uomini non sono capaci di agire per se stessi, cosa faranno quando i benefici dei loro sforzi sono per un bene comune?
Conosco una persona molto brillante che non e’ capace di amministrare alcun affare da se stesso, ma e’ anche completamente inutile ad altri perche’ sospetta sempre che il suo datore di lavoro e’ un oppressore o intende opprimerlo. Non sa’ dare direzioni e non vuole riceverle. Se qualcuno dovesse chiedergli di portare un messaggio al Generale Garcia, la sua risposta sarebbe, probabilmente, “che lo porti lui direttamente”. In questo momento, quest’uomo vaga per le strade della citta’ in cerca di lavoro. Nessuno che lo conosce osa dargli lavoro, perche’ e’ sempre scontento di tutto e di tutti e si lamenta sempre. Non vuol sentir ragioni, e l’unica cosa che puo’ avere un’impressione su di lui e’ un bel calcio nel sedere.

Sono stato troppo diretto nella mia analisi? Non sono stato politicamente corretto? Forse, ma che dire di chi si sforza e ha successo a causa del duro lavoro nonostante le difficolta’ e l’opposizione? Prima di diventare giornalista, ho fatto di tutto a cominciare dal lavapiatti. So che non ci sono datori di lavoro perfetti, ma il mio pensiero va’ a colui che fa’ il suo lavoro anche quando il capo e’ via, e continua a farlo a casa con la sua famiglia. E colui che, quando gli viene data una lettera da recapitare al generale Garcia, la prende quietamente e senza chiedere domande idiote la recapita a destinazione. Tutti cercano quell’individuo. E se lo avete notato, non viene mai licenziato. E’ una specie cosi’ rara che nessun datore di lavoro puo’ permettersi di lasciarselo scappare. Il mondo ha bisogno di chi sa portare il messaggio al generala Garcia.”

In aggiunta a quanto scritto da Hubbard desidero condividere un commento di un mio amico che e’ rettore universitario e presidente del palo della mia chiesa qui dove vivo. Egli ha scritto: “Trovare persone che portano a termine un compito con efficienza e tempestivita’ e una sfida quotidiana, non solo sul lavoro ma anche in ogni attivita’ collettiva, compreso gli incarichi nella chiesa. Ho un’ammirazione per quegli individui – una delle ragioni, suppongo, del perche’ un certo scrittore ammirasse tanto un certo Capitano Moroni che otteneva risultati.”

I vostri commenti sono sempre molto graditi.

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A Message to Garcia

Well I read the following article and I couldn’t resist sharing it with the world. Although the words are not mine, the article reflects my thoughts!

A Message to Garcia
By Elbert Hubbard
In all this Cuban business there is one man stands out on the horizon of my memory like Mars at perihelion. When war broke out between Spain and the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia was somewhere in the mountain vastness of Cuba—no one knew where. No mail nor telegraph message could reach him. The President must secure his cooperation, and quickly.
What to do!
Someone said to the President, “There’s a fellow by the name of Rowan will find Garcia for you, if anybody can.”
Rowan was sent for and given a letter to be delivered to Garcia. How “the fellow by the name of Rowan” took the letter, sealed it up in an oil-skin pouch, strapped it over his heart, in four days landed by night off the coast of Cuba from an open boat, disappeared into the jungle, & in three weeks came out on the other side of the Island, having traversed a hostile country on foot, and delivered his letter to Garcia, are things I have no special desire now to tell in detail.
The point I wish to make is this: McKinley gave Rowan a letter to be delivered to Garcia; Rowan took the letter and did not ask, “Where is he at?” By the Eternal! there is a man whose form should be cast in deathless bronze and the statue placed in every college of the land. It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this and that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies: do the thing- “Carry a message to Garcia!”
General Garcia is dead now, but there are other Garcias.
No man, who has endeavored to carry out an enterprise where many hands were needed, but has been well nigh appalled at times by the imbecility of the average man- the inability or unwillingness to concentrate on a thing and do it. Slip-shod assistance, foolish inattention, dowdy indifference, & half-hearted work seem the rule; and no man succeeds, unless by hook or crook, or threat, he forces or bribes other men to assist him; or mayhap, God in His goodness performs a miracle, & sends him an Angel of Light for an assistant. You, reader, put this matter to a test: You are sitting now in your office—six clerks are within call.
Summon any one and make this request: “Please look in the encyclopedia and make a brief memorandum for me concerning the life of Correggio”.
Will the clerk quietly say, “Yes, sir,” and go do the task?
On your life, he will not. He will look at you out of a fishy eye and ask one or more of the following questions:
Who was he?
Which encyclopedia?
Where is the encyclopedia?
Was I hired for that?
Don’t you mean Bismarck?
What’s the matter with Charlie doing it?
Is he dead?
Is there any hurry?
Shan’t I bring you the book and let you look it up yourself?
What do you want to know for?
And I will lay you ten to one that after you have answered the questions, and explained how to find the information, and why you want it, the clerk will go off and get one of the other clerks to help him try to find Garcia- and then come back and tell you there is no such man. Of course I may lose my bet, but according to the Law of Average, I will not.
Now if you are wise you will not bother to explain to your “assistant” that Correggio is indexed under the C’s, not in the K’s, but you will smile sweetly and say, “Never mind,” and go look it up yourself.
And this incapacity for independent action, this moral stupidity, this infirmity of the will, this unwillingness to cheerfully catch hold and lift, are the things that put pure Socialism so far into the future. If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? A first-mate with knotted club seems necessary; and the dread of getting “the bounce” Saturday night, holds many a worker to his place.
Advertise for a stenographer, and nine out of ten who apply, can neither spell nor punctuate- and do not think it necessary to.
Can such a one write a letter to Garcia?
“You see that bookkeeper,” said the foreman to me in a large factory.
“Yes, what about him?”
“Well he’s a fine accountant, but if I’d send him up town on an errand, he might accomplish the errand all right, and on the other hand, might stop at four saloons on the way, and when he got to Main Street, would forget what he had been sent for.”
Can such a man be entrusted to carry a message to Garcia?
We have recently been hearing much maudlin sympathy expressed for the “downtrodden denizen of the sweat-shop” and the “homeless wanderer searching for honest employment,” & with it all often go many hard words for the men in power.
Nothing is said about the employer who grows old before his time in a vain attempt to get frowsy ne’er-do-wells to do intelligent work; and his long patient striving with “help” that does nothing but loaf when his back is turned. In every store and factory there is a constant weeding-out process going on. The employer is constantly sending away “help” that have shown their incapacity to further the interests of the business, and others are being taken on. No matter how good times are, this sorting continues, only if times are hard and work is scarce, the sorting is done finer- but out and forever out, the incompetent and unworthy go.
It is the survival of the fittest. Self-interest prompts every employer to keep the best- those who can carry a message to Garcia.
I know one man of really brilliant parts who has not the ability to manage a business of his own, and yet who is absolutely worthless to any one else, because he carries with him constantly the insane suspicion that his employer is oppressing, or intending to oppress him. He cannot give orders; and he will not receive them. Should a message be given him to take to Garcia, his answer would probably be, “Take it yourself.”
Tonight this man walks the streets looking for work, the wind whistling through his threadbare coat. No one who knows him dare employ him, for he is a regular fire-brand of discontent. He is impervious to reason, and the only thing that can impress him is the toe of a thick-soled No. 9 boot.
Of course I know that one so morally deformed is no less to be pitied than a physical cripple; but in our pitying, let us drop a tear, too, for the men who are striving to carry on a great enterprise, whose working hours are not limited by the whistle, and whose hair is fast turning white through the struggle to hold in line dowdy indifference, slip-shod imbecility, and the heartless ingratitude, which, but for their enterprise, would be both hungry & homeless.
Have I put the matter too strongly? Possibly I have; but when all the world has gone a-slumming I wish to speak a word of sympathy for the man who succeeds- the man who, against great odds has directed the efforts of others, and having succeeded, finds there’s nothing in it: nothing but bare board and clothes.
I have carried a dinner pail & worked for day’s wages, and I have also been an employer of labor, and I know there is something to be said on both sides. There is no excellence, per se,
in poverty; rags are no recommendation; & all employers are not rapacious and high-handed, any more than all poor men are virtuous.
My heart goes out to the man who does his work when the “boss” is away, as well as when he is at home. And the man who, when given a letter for Garcia, quietly take the missive, without asking any idiotic questions, and with no lurking intention of chucking it into the nearest sewer, or of doing aught else but deliver it, never gets “laid off,” nor has to go on a strike for higher wages. Civilization is one long anxious search for just such individuals. Anything such a man asks shall be granted; his kind is so rare that no employer can afford to let him go. He is wanted in every city, town and village—in every office, shop, store and factory. The world cries out for such: he is needed, & needed badly—the man who can carry a message to Garcia.

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Tipping Point implications

Before I continue with the topic of the Tipping Point, I wish to draw your attention to a couple of friends’ blogs that I find very interesting. The first one is from Paula and she writes in a very nice prose tidbits of her life. I think I suggested her that, at some point, she should publish her collection of short stories. They are light and insightful. A breath of fresh air when it comes to reading for the re-creation of our mind. You can find Paula’s blog at the following address: http://3nthemorning.wordpress.com/

The second blog is from Bob. He teaches a religion class to a bunch of kids 14 to 18 years old. I met Bob in Italy in the mid 70’s in my hometown where he stayed for only a few months. During those few months, I came to appreciate his spirituality, which is above and beyond his own beliefs and religion but is an integral part of them as well. Bob is writing this blog for his students, but I have read what he writes and I found again that spirituality that I had met in him more than 30 years ago. Whether you are a religious person or not, Bob’s blog would feed your spirit if you’d care to listen inside your heart while you read what he has to say. Bob’s blog can be found at http://a100thpart.wordpress.com/

Finally, another friend of mine, whose name is Bob as well, has created a web domain for my blog. Now you can simply type http://albertodefeo.net/ and you will be transferred to my blog. Thank you Bob.

Few final considerations about the Tipping Point, which I hope may apply to your lives. As I wrote before, in the mid 90’s the New York City’s crime rate dropped so much that the City of New York went down to be the 136th city for crime among major cities in the USA, par to Boise Idaho. “There was a time when it wasn’t uncommon to hear rapid fire, like you would hear somewhere in the jungle in Vietnam,” Inspector Edward A. Mezzadri, who commands the Seventy-fifth Precinct, told Malcolm Gladwell. “You would hear that in Bed-Stuy and Brownsville and, particularly, East New York all the time. I don’t hear the gunfire anymore. I’ve been at this job one year and twelve days. The other night when I was going to the garage to get my car, I heard my first volley. That was my first time.”

Gladwell writes: “what accounts for the drop in crime rates? William J. Bratton-who as the New York City Police Commissioner presided over much of the decline from the fall of 1994 until his resignation, in 1996-argues that his new policing strategies made the difference: he cites more coordination between divisions of the N.Y.P.D., more accountability from precinct commanders, more arrests for gun possession, more sophisticated computer-aided analysis of crime patterns, more aggressive crime prevention. In the Seven-Five, Mezzadri has a team of officers who go around and break up the groups of young men who congregate on street corners, drinking, getting high, and playing dice-and so remove what was once a frequent source of violent confrontations. He says that he has stepped up random “safety checks” on the streets, looking for drunk drivers or stolen cars. And he says that streamlined internal procedures mean that he can now move against drug-selling sites in a matter of days, where it used to take weeks. “It’s aggressive policing,” he says. “It’s a no-nonsense attitude. Persistence is not just a word, it’s a way of life.”

All these changes make good sense. But how does breaking up dice games and streamlining bureaucracy cut murder rates by two-thirds? Many criminologists have taken a broader view, arguing that changes in crime reflect fundamental demographic and social trends-for example, the decline and stabilization of the crack trade, the aging of the population, and longer prison sentences, which have kept hard-core offenders off the streets. Yet these trends are neither particularly new nor unique to New York City; they don’t account for why the crime rate has dropped so suddenly here and now. Furthermore, whatever good they have done is surely offset, at least in part, by the economic devastation visited on places like Brownsville and East New York in recent years by successive rounds of federal, state, and city social-spending cuts.

When social scientists talk about epidemics, they mean something very specific. Epidemics have their own set of rules. Suppose, for example, that one summer a thousand tourists come to Manhattan from Canada carrying an untreatable strain of twenty-four-hour flu. The virus has a two-per-cent infection rate, which is to say that one out of every fifty people who come into close contact with someone carrying it catches the bug himself. Let’s say that fifty is also exactly the number of people the average Manhattanite-in the course of riding the subways and mingling with colleagues at work-comes into contact with every day. What we have, then, given the recovery rate, is a disease in equilibrium. Every day, each carrier passes on the virus to a new person. And the next day those thousand newly infected people pass on the virus to another thousand people, so that throughout the rest of the summer and the fall the flu chugs along at a steady but unspectacular clip.

But then comes the Christmas season. The subways and buses get more crowded with tourists and shoppers, and instead of running into an even fifty people a day, the average Manhattanite now has close contact with, say, fifty-five people a day. That may not sound like much of a difference, but for our flu bug it is critical. All of a sudden, one out of every ten people with the virus will pass it on not just to one new person but to two. The thousand carriers run into fifty-five thousand people now, and at a two-per-cent infection rate that translates into eleven hundred new cases the following day. Some of those eleven hundred will also pass on the virus to more than one person, so that by Day Three there are twelve hundred and ten Manhattanites with the flu and by Day Four thirteen hundred and thirty-one, and by the end of the week there are nearly two thousand, and so on up, the figure getting higher every day, until Manhattan has a full-blown flu epidemic on its hands by Christmas Day.”

Can we actually see these things in our lives? Can we forecast a tipping point in our community or in our lives, our career, our family troubles and so on? I believe in a way we can. We need to be persistent about what we think is good for ourselves and for those around us and things, eventually will change for the best. Sometimes, they have to get even worse but if we hold faithfully to the thought that one day the point will tip in our favor, I believe it will.

Your comments are always well received.

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Quale e’ il Punto Critico della tua vita? (Italian)

Alcuni anni fa’ ad una conferenza canadese di Enti Locali, uno degli oratori menziono’ un libro dell’autore canadese Malcolm Gladwell intitolato “The Tipping Point” (in italiano “Il Punto Critico: i Grandi Effetti dei Piccoli Cambiamenti” pubblicato da Rizzoli). L’intuizione che Malcolm Gladwell sviluppa in questo libro è che i cambiamenti sociali obbediscono alle stesse leggi delle epidemie: allo stesso modo dei virus, un’idea, una moda, un comportamento, diffusi dal contagio del “passaparola”, raggiungono una soglia oltre la quale ottengono un effetto a valanga, Questa soglia è il Punto Critico. Quando si supera il punto critico, la reazione a catena sembra sfuggire alle normali relazioni di causa ed effetto. Un piccolo cambiamento può innescare una vera rivoluzione. Con esempi e riflessioni tratti dalla psicologia e dalla sociologia, dalla storia, dall’economia e dalla nostra vita quotidiana Gladwell insegna a essere artefici di epidemie positive.

Ho letto il libro in pochi giorni. Affascinante! In realta’ e’ un libro sul cambiamento. In particolare e’ un libro che presenta un nuovo modo di capire come mai il cambiamento accade talvolta improssivamente e con conseguenze inaspettate. Per esempio, perche’ il livello di criminalita’ in New York e’ declinato sostanzialmente nella meta’ degli anni ‘90? Come fa’ un libro scritto da un autore poco conosciuto a diventare un bestseller? Come mai ci sono sempre piu’ giovani che fumano quando tutti sanno che il fumo uccide? Gladwell risponde che vi e’ un solo motivo. Si tratta di epidemia sociali che si comportanto esattamente come si comporterebbe un’epidemia da virus come l’influenza.

Per esempio, quando analizzo la comunita’ in cui vivo e vedo come il crimine abbia influenzato la nostra qualita’ di vita, penso sempre di piu’ al punto critico teorizzato da Gladwell. Negli ultimi anni sono stati fatti tanti ottimi sforzi per ridurre il crimine ma senza successo. In questi ultimi mesi e senza evidente cambiamento nelle modalita’ di attuazione della lotta alla criminalita’, la riduzione del crimine e’ stata del 50%. Come mai adesso e non prima?

I fondamenti della teoria di Gladwell sono i seguenti e si rifanno alle tre regole delle epidemie biologiche: La Legge dei Pochi, il Fattore di Attaccamento, e il Potere del Contesto.

Il principio dell’ 80/20 afferma che in ogni situazione circa l’80% del ‘lavoro’ e’ fatto dal 20% dei participanti. Questa idea e’ centrale alla teoria della . Ma se togliamo via quel 20% di persone che fanno la maggior parte del lavoro che cosa succederebbe? Ci sarebbero altri che prenderebbero il posto di quel 20% o cosa? Ancora piu’ importante e’ chiedersi, uno nasce una persona eccezionale, uno dei ‘pochi’, o si puo’ imparare a diventare parte di questo gruppo ’speciale’?

L’Attaccamento significa che un messaggio ha un impatto che rimane e non va via facilmente, come per esempio qualche pubblicita’ che abbiamo visto da piccoli e ancora ce la ricordiamo (vi ricordate di Calimero e l’olandesina che gli dice: Calimero tu non sei nero sei solo sporco). Si puo’ dire con esattezza come fa’ un’idea ad ‘attaccarsi’ a noi?

Infine, il Potere del Contesto afferma che gli esseri umani sono molto piu’ sensibili al loro ambiente di quel che sembra. Quanto siamo in contatto col nostro ambiente? Abbiamo mai sentito gli effetti dei cambiamenti d’umore a causa di cio’ che ci circonda? Per esempio, come vi siete sentiti dopo aver visto le immagini del 9/11?

Gladwell chiarisce che queste leggi non si azionano da sole ma hanno bisogno di individui particolari per farle andare avanti. Per oggi desidero lasciarvi a questa introduzione sperando di avere qualche commento e risposta alle domande sulle tre regole.

A presto

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Is there a ‘Tipping Point’ in our lives?

A few years ago I attended a conference of Canadian local governments in Calgary. One of the keynote speakers mentioned a book by Canadian author Malcolm Gladwell called “The Tipping Point”. The speaker used the concepts expressed in the book to make a point on homelessness: at some point the scale will tip and trends will change, even for homelessness.

I was inpressed by the speaker and so I bought the book and read it. What a fascinating reading! It’s a book about change. In particular, it’s a book that presents a new way of understanding why change so often happens as quickly and as unexpectedly as it does. For example, why did crime drop so dramatically in New York City in the mid-1990’s? How does a novel written by an unknown author end up as national bestseller? Why do teens smoke in greater and greater numbers, when every single person in the country knows that cigarettes kill? Why is word-of-mouth so powerful? What makes TV shows like Sesame Street so good at teaching kids how to read? According to Gladwell, the answer to all those questions is the same. It’s that ideas and behavior and messages and products sometimes behave just like outbreaks of infectious disease. They are social epidemics. The Tipping Point is an examination of the social epidemics that surround us.

When I look at my community, and I see how the issue of crime has effected our quality of living, I think more and more of the Tipping Point theory by Gladwell. A number of effort were put into reducing crime for many years but only now and without a clear explenation, crime reduction is dramatic (and good for the community).

There are some interesting points in Gladwell’s theory that need to be outlined. They are, in fact, the foundation of his theory. Let’s review them.

Gladwell writes that there are three rules to epidemics: the Law of the Few, the Stickiness Factor, and the Power of Context.

The 80/20 Principle states that in any situation roughly 80 percent of the ‘work’ will be done by 20 percent of the participants. This idea is central to the Law of the Few theory where a tiny percentage of people do the majority of work. But say you took those 20 people who do all the “work” away, would changes or epidemics never occur or would the next 20 people step into that role and assume the position of “workers”? Is one born an exceptional person, a ‘one of the few,’ or could someone eventually learn how to become a member of this exceptional group?

Stickiness means that a message makes an impact and doesn’t go in one ear and out the other. Take a simple, every day example of this. Think about a song that you couldn’t get out of your head or that television commercial you still remember from when you were a kid. Could you pinpoint what it is you think makes them “sticky?”

Finally, the Power of Context says that human beings are a lot more sensitive to their environment than they may seem. How attuned are you to your environment and its effect on you? Have you felt your mood change because of the surroundings even if it’s as subtle as standing near a couple in a bitter argument or being in a cluttered, messy bedroom?

In order for these rules to be effective, you need special people. They are called Connectors, Mavens and Salesmen.

Connectors are the kinds of people who know everyone and possess special gifts for bringing the world together. What kind of careers and job titles would you expect Connectors to have? Connectors are defined by having many acquaintances, a sign of social power, but do you think a Connector privileges quantity over quality? How do Connectors embody the maxim “it’s not what you know but who you know?”

Maven means one who accumulates knowledge and who has information on a lot of different products or prices or places. Could anyone be a maven if they just have the diligence and desire to learn a specific craft or area of knowledge?

Salesmen are the select group of people with the skills to persuade us when we are unconvinced of what we are hearing. Discuss what you think makes a good salesman? Think about the last time you were in a store and what you liked or didn’t like about the retail person assisting you? Have you ever felt suckered into buying something or recognized the only reason you bought an item (or even one in ever color) was because of the person selling it to you?

What happens when two people talk? They engage in a kind of dance. Their volume and pitch fall into balance and they fall into physical and conversational harmony? So, when we ‘click’ with someone, is this harmony immediately established without effort or can it be created and fine-tuned with practice or over time? Is it this synchronicity that leads to attraction? Does the way people ‘dance’ with each other indicate the presence of chemistry? What would you describe yourself as — a connecter, maven or salesman? Think of the people you know and who out of them best exemplifies these categories and why.

Well, I believe the topic is huge and so I will have to write more. In the meantime, is there a Tipping Point in your life? I hope to hear from you on this first blog on the subject. I will write again in a few days.

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The Goldilocks Dilemma – Final Considerations

I have received many good comments on the Goldilocks Dilemma. I wish to share some with you.

My friend John wrote: “A person who isn’t making mistakes, is not trying hard eneogh. You talk about things as if they are right or wrong. Hurdles come in different sizes, shapes and colors. Your path in life has many bumps, potholes and detours. Stick to your goals, family, work and self. Work on your objectives, don’t let others distract you, learn from them.” John, I really appreciate your insight. I, like you, believe that our life path is not a black and white thoroughfare but a shaded road with many colours and grades of black through white. My personal past life has taught me to embrace change and to appreciate the challenges that come with it. I guess that, once in a while, I need to stop and reflect before I can move forward. Thank you pal.

My long-time friend Bob from California (who worked for Lucas Films Ltd.) wrote: “Ciao Uncle Alby! This time last year, I hit what I might refer to as my Goldilocks Dilemma…stresses at home, and stresses at work. I decided to take a leave from a good job and focus on the situations at home, knowing that my job would not be available when my leave was over. Although I had to persevere four months of unemployment, and accept a new job at 40% less pay, I am certainly much happier and relaxed one year later. I have been able to search other job offers looking for “the right one” while still collecting a paycheck, albeit not yet what I would like it to be. I just have to retain the faith that a certain Higher Power is looking out for me as only a loving Father does.” Bob you know me, I admire you for you what you did and do. Your words confirm some of my thoughts and analysis I laid out in my blog. Continue to persevere.

Jason has offered the following comments: “I heard at a management seminar once that there are 4 progressive stages to career development:

1. Survival
2. Stability
3. Success
4. Substance

The Goldilock dilemna is probably not going to be very applicable to people who are in (or have been thrust back to) stage 1 or 2, however, I have reached a point where I am still hungry but the menu is limited to porridge that is too hot and too cold.

For me the work ahead is to “responde, as best I can, to those things uniquely encombant on me” (or find substance) that drives my appitite. For me the search for meaning and purpose cannot be limited to my work. I have had to make an effort to connect with the humans on a personal level. Many of them like their porridge just right.

This is a introspective process and remains a work in progress.” I agree Jason and this confirms that we are all different and we take our paths in differente ways. This is why, it is important to know what other people think and would do in similar situations. Thank you to you, too. Can you tell me why you want to be called commissioner now?

Steve instead wrote: “In your case, I don’t think I could or should offer you advice except to say that I will support whatever decision you come to.  But I think you understand that everyone needs to have a balance between a work life and home life to ensure one situation doesn’t overwhelm the other.”

Geoff shared some thoughts that really made me think hard:”When you listed your options the only one that didn’t throw everything to the wind was to throw the job security out the window and do what you think needs to be done. Just looking professionally, leaving will give you all the same security issues staying would. Although it would increase the chances of reducing your influence in any new position. This is only looking professionally though, moving, family and religious influence/community would take on there own……………’struggle’ if you will. Finding the balance is a huge cliche. If you asked a child what to do when you’re not getting enough of something and it’s a problem, you can bet they would plainly state; ‘Then just get more of it!’ We cloud decision making with every way we’ve been taught to strategize and analyze and in the end use these ‘formulas’ to avoid the truths we can see coming. Conflict and emotion are the scariest things (hahaha……..scary…….emotion……..cracked myself up!) for planning and direction because of their radical and irrational natures. As I am seeing in my own family’s business, insecurities can grind anything to dead halt. All I can suggest is that you look hard at what you feel are your strengths and if they will guide you through the paths you are looking down. I have found it extremely helpful for myself to evaluate my own level of ‘tolerance’ for conflict and stress. When I know what I am willing to put up with I have always been able to forge ahead confidantly and achieve my goals.” Geoff, thank you. You helped me looking into the glass as half full.

I wish to also thank John, Ken and Vaughan for their insights. They were also very enlightening. I am most thankful for your wisdom and help.

I wish to conclude my thoughts on the Goldilocks Dilemma by sharing some of Dr. Berglar’s comments on how to solve the impasse when we find ourselves in a Goldilocks situation. He introduces a principle called Chronic Diversification, which means that if a person’s self-esteem has mutliple infusions of positive feedback it grows more stable and less vulnerable to the emotional consequences of failing at innovation and change. The first step toward overcoming the anxiety inherent in reconceptualizing your career this way is to understand that the strengths that give you a professional identitycan be reorganized and reallocated just as a broker moves assets among investments.

In the end, Dr. Berglar gives some simple tips to help us repackage or reorganizing a career:

1. Relax: you are reapplying your strengths, not reinventing yourself. Your personality usually does not change but adapts. For instance, if you are an introvert you may learn to overcome a fear of social gatherings, but it is doubtful that you will ever be the life of the party.
2. Be an origin, not a pawn. If you dictate the time and place and place to begin reorganizing yourself, you benefit in several ways: not only you are more mentally equipped to cope with the stresses inherent in such risk taking but you exude confidence to those who may facilitate your success.
3. Embrace bad news. Never wear rose-coloured glasses when readjusting your career as by doing so you are prone to engage in denial. But anticipating the consequences of your actions makes experiencing a painful outcome manageable.
4. Don’t forget that Eustress (positive stress) is a cousin of Distress. Remember what Epictetus said in 135 C.E. ‘Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them’.

And with this, I conclude my few entries on the Goldilocks Dilemma. To all my friends that wish to know if my personal struggle is now over, I would respond: it’s never over if you love a full life. As far as there is a dilemma, there is something positive going on.

Thank you again for all your reading, pondering, and responding. Next on my blog: the fascinatin theory of the Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.

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